Mark Twain

Found 423 items. Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 >>

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(835 votes)  I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(786 votes)  Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(751 votes)  Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(748 votes)  It was the schoolboy who said, ''Faith is believing what you know ain't so.''

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(731 votes)  It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(720 votes)  You can't pray a lie.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(714 votes)  If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(616 votes)  Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain

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(606 votes)  The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(569 votes)  Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Mark Twain

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(567 votes)  What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(561 votes)  It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble!

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(555 votes)  Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(544 votes)  That's what an army is -- a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(527 votes)  Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(520 votes)  Sometimes too much drink is barely enough.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(515 votes)  Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Mark Twain

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(513 votes)  Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(512 votes)  To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(511 votes)  Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(509 votes)  A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(508 votes)  Put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(506 votes)  Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(505 votes)  The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, however so felicitous, could accomplish it.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(504 votes)  In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Mark Twain

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(502 votes)  It is easier to stay out than get out.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(498 votes)  Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(497 votes)  It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(497 votes)  You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Mark Twain

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(493 votes)  True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(492 votes)  The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up

Mark Twain

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(491 votes)  On with dance, let joy be unconfined, is my motto; whether there's any dance to dance or any joy to unconfined.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(491 votes)  A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(489 votes)  There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(489 votes)  Where prejudice exists it always discolors our thoughts

Mark Twain

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(488 votes)  There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(485 votes)  I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won t.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(481 votes)  When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(479 votes)  All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(479 votes)  Be good and you will be lonely.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(478 votes)  When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(478 votes)  Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(475 votes)  If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(474 votes)  Familiarity breeds contempt and children.

Mark Twain

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(473 votes)  There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(473 votes)  I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

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(465 votes)  October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(460 votes)  Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(449 votes)  Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of them.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(444 votes)  Pity is for living, envy is for dead.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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Found 423 items. Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 >>